I have news!  Scary, exciting, terrifying, amazing, confusing, fabulous, wonderous, stupendous,  glorious news!  Last night, without warning, without a clue or hint that it was coming, my baby told me,  he and his wife are HAVING a baby!  To say I was shocked,  would be a grave understatement.  OK, so I know how babies are made, and that the obvious potential for this to happen was there, but I was totally not expecting, to hear,  that they are expecting, in November.  November, how can I ever be ready by November?  How can we ALL be ready by November?

Something that may be important and relevent to reveal right now, is that I am a bit of a processor.  What I mean by that, is that sometimes when I am surprised by something, I don’t react quite as well as I should, in the moment.  I need to step outside the moment and think.  It isn’t that I don’t care, or am not happy, or not engaged, I just have to wrap my brain around the really big stuff.  This is really big stuff!  A part of me felt the need to sit down and write this, because I know that Melissa and Jeremy have started following these posts, and they will see this.  I need to explain how I am feeling, so that they understand that I am very proud and happy to be Nana to another bundle, to their bundle.  I need them to know that my reaction was very, very similar when Daniel and Anne told me Paxton was on the way.  There is alot think about!

The biggest thing that I worried about, and stressed over for quite awhile last night, is the distance.  I live so far away.  I have a fabulous and deep relationship with Brody and Paxton, and I don’t want it to be any different with this baby.  I won’t get the chance to watch Mel grow, to see Jeremy’s face, as he watches Mel grow.  I likely won’t get to help plan, or cook for a baby shower.  And, heaven forbid, I might not make it there, to see this baby come into the world.  That will break my heart, and I admit, I shed some tears thinking about it then, and thinking about it now.  I know it may sound vaguely selfish, but the fact that it matters to me this much, as was pointed out to me by a close friend last night, means that I will find a way.  WE, as a family, will find a way.

The more and more I thought about it last night, and then again this morning, the brighter my outlook became.  I thought very long and hard about something Mel said to me, and that was reiterated in a subsequent conversation.  Mel said she didn’t see her grandparents alot, but it was always extra special when she did.  Someone or something that we have constant contact with, can truly become, slightly, taken for granted.  That’s not going to happen.  We will have to pack so much into the times I can visit, that the baby is going to see me as the FUN Nana!  I am also reminded of something else.  I have two nephews and a niece,  who I only have opportunity to see twice a year.  I HAVE  a relationship with those kids.  They love to see me visit, so much so, that when I was there last,  the four year old,  out of the blue, just told me he loved me so much.  He was drawing me a picture, and just randomly, while he wasn’t really thinking about anything else, he just said it.  That was a precious moment that I know I will be able to recreate with my new grandchild.  Thousands of these moments will just have to be condensed into small parcels of time.

One of the great things about the era in which we find ourselves, is technology.  We have the capability to keep in touch in ways we never even imagined when my kids where young.  When their father went away, it was a huge deal to get a videotaped message to him at Christmas, when he was away.  Now, we have webcams!  I will be able to see this little ones milestones, as close to being there as is humanly possible.  That encourages me greatly.  I may only be able to hold this little person in my arms a couple of times a year, but I will be able to watch them grow, and change, and develop.  It will take work, and timing on all our parts to arrange, but we have been working, as a family, through tons of obstacles, for alot of years.  Anything worth doing, is worth doing right.  Raising a baby in today’s society has to be a parent’s, or grandparent’s,  first and most important priority, and I believe I have alot of valuable life experience, and , above all else, LOVE, to give this child.  I really AM excited!  I may not have sounded thrilled last night, but I am, truly.

Here’s where I put in my shameless plug. I WANT A GIRL!  Ok, now that that has been said, I will reiterate that I will love this baby with all my heart, and with the strength and commitment that only comes from being their grandparent.  I already do.   Did I mention, I hope it’s a girl?  Boys are great, don’t get me wrong, but I am ready for some barbie, girly time, just saying…

Jeremy and Mel, I am very proud of you both, and I love you very much.  Thank you for this gift.  I honestly believe (s)he has blessed us already.  I know I am not physically there at times when I truly wish I could be, but you are always in my heart of hearts, and anything I can ever do for you, and this little bundle, I will.  Remember that over the next few months, and always.  Take care of yourself Mel, and my grandbaby!