Anyone who doesn’t already know me, might think, in reading the title of this, that I lost a child today, and in many ways, it feels just as devastating to myself, and our family. Chloe came to us in Aug of 2000, a black and brown, round bundle of 8 week old Rottweiler energy. Her parents were beautiful and stately looking creatures, both pure bred but with no papers. We wanted a pet, not a pedigree anyway.

When my husband and I started dating, we both agreed we wanted nothing to do with marriage, having both been there, and written the tour guide, and not wanting any repeat performances. That being said, we bought a house, and settled in. As we trudged along, he became increasing insistent that he wanted a big dog, a Rottweiler, to be more specific. I was as uninformed as the next person about the breed, having only seen the negatives in the media. I, quite flippantly said that as soon as I had a ring on my finger, he could have his dog. Guess what I got for my very next birthday. I wasn’t looking at getting married, necessarily, but I wanted a ring at least. It was neatly buried inside a Pooh purse, and no proposal followed, just the quip that now we find his dog.

While we were in search of a puppy, we bought and read everything we could on the breed. I wanted to be educated if I was bringing a beast that size in to my home, our home. We knew we wanted a girl, and had even entertained the thought of breeding at least one litter of puppies, until we read that they sometimes need help in the actual mating process, and they were notoriously bad mothers. No thank you.

We found her in the back woods of New Brunswick, and it was love at first bite, I mean sight. We took a towel with us and rubbed it all over her mother, as the books had told us too, for easier adjustment. We had decided to kennel train her, as we were both working full time. She had all the right toys, all the right foods, and snacks. We were doing it by the book. Don’t get me wrong, there were growing pains, for all of us.

Owning a dog, of a breed that terrifies some people, causes one to have to act a certain way. We knew we had to invest whatever we needed to, to be responsible dog owners. My own parents swore they would never be comfortable in my house if I got one of “those” dogs. Needless-to-say, they fell in love with her too. Every individual who came in to contact with her, quickly fell for her beautiful spirit. Hmmm, might exclude our two cats. We only had one when she came home, and I think she was not happy to share, space or attention, but I truly believe dogs and cats are entirely different in temperament, as well as need for affection. Don’t get me wrong, I love our cats, and the Siamese is especially a character, but dogs are just different.

We enrolled her in puppy preschool, and socialized her with other dogs. We took her to obedience training, and I truly believe, had she ever managed to catch a live squirrel, if we had told her “Out!”, she would have dropped it. She walked well on a leash, never taking me for a walk. She learned a couple tricks. She could do the usual, sit, stay, down, and she could fetch, but she also gave you five with one paw, and if you told her other five, she gave you the other one. She was amazing at catching treats and balls. Her best and most unique trick was getting her clothes. We hung her collar on the door knob at night, because her tags made so much noise, and if you told her to go get her clothes, she trotted off and brought it back to you, in her mouth. I am smiling think of it now actually.

She never liked the car, but if you asked her if she wanted to go in the car, she got excited. When she was just a few months old, we had her fixed and her dew claws removed, and two days later, had to make a long road trip, for a funeral. She got very car sick. She would drool incessantly, when she was younger, drenching the car seat, blanket, or kid’s leg, whatever she was over. The worst experience with a carsick Rottie, was after a trip to see my mother-in-law. We had her outside, in the fenced yard while we were packing the car, without knowing that Lucienne, prior to our visit, had burned a pot of chili, and just set the pot outside so it would freeze, before she threw it out. Guess who found it, and devoured it. Guess how much chili comes back up, all over the car, when a Rottie’s tummy gets sick from the motion of the vehicle. Try, all of it!

She had her times when she a handful, for sure. When she outgrew her kennel, we put baby gates up and barred her in the kitchen, where there was only linoleum she could have an accident on. We left her treats and toys, stuffed her kong with cheese and cookies, left her music playing, but she did NOT like being left alone. She cried. She figured out if there were picks in the linoleum, she could dig at them and tear up large portions of it! That was a fun discovery. So, we switched her over to the bathroom, and closed her in there, where she instantly acquired a taste for the brand new wooden window frames. Also, a fun discovery. She also greatly enjoyed cutting her teeth on MY shoes, just mine.

When she started to mature, even though we had her spayed, she wanted to assert her position within our pack, and we had some issues. She was determined to be the Alpha female, and got aggressive towards me. The first time I felt afraid of her, we immediately sought professional advice. She wasn’t very large at the time, but we knew she was going to be a big girl. Her father was massive. I was not going to be afraid in my own home, so we tearfully went to our vet for help. I instantly became her lifeline. We had to make sure I did all the training with her, and that I was the only one who fed her. She had to learn that the only way she was eating, was if the actual Alpha female in our household, allowed her to. She was also never allowed to sit at a level higher than myself. She could never be above me, or she would feel above me. She learned quickly, and I never feared her again, ever, even when grandkids started crawling over her.

She had a way about making our lives better, every day. Once we no longer had to confine her anywhere, we often saw her head pop up on the sofa, when we drove up, through the window, but she was never actually ON it when we walked in. Sneaky girl! She loved toast, and we had to spell the word if we didn’t have any to give her. She loved to eat anything, except olives, shrimp, oysters and eggs. I am sure it was a texture thing. She would pull her gums back from her front teeth, and just pick it up, then drop it, over and over. If we told her we were giving it to the cat, boy did she grab it quickly. It was so funny to watch.

She definitely had her quirks. Chloe hated to see other animals on the TV, and when she was little, we laughed at her, thinking it cute. When she was over a hundred pound, not so funny. She could move the heaviest televisions jumping at them, trying to bite at other dogs, cats, black people, oddly enough. We had a racist dog, how does that even happen if they don’t see colour? She loved to eat bubbles, either ones the kids blow, or the ones in the bath with us. It was so amusing to put them on her nose and watch her try and lick them off, or use her paw to get them off, so she could lick them. She responded to words like doctor, cookie (and anything that rhymed with cookie, really) car, kids, even Grampy, which she called my Dad. She would tilt her head to one side, then the other, back and forth, with ears up and cocked. When Daniel and the kids were on their way, you would just have to ask her if they were here yet, and she ran to the door to check. So cute, but maybe kind of mean of me to do.

Five years ago, we added Brutus to our family, and the amusement level upped dramatically. If you are old enough to remember the older Bugs Bunny cartoons that had the big dog plodding along while the little one bounced around him, that was Chloe and Brutus. He is a Miniature Pinscher who thinks he is a big dog, and when he first came home, he used to make her nuts going underneath her. Sometimes you could almost see this mature woman, just telling the annoying kid to bug off and go away. He is extremely jealous, and anytime we were giving Chloe any extra attention, he always tried to push himself in between us. The boy isn’t the brightest bulb on the tree, because when she used to get snarly at him, he would lick her teeth! How she never hurt him is beyond me, but she never did. They were amazingly sweet to watch when they cuddled up together to sleep. I am sure he must be missing her as badly as we are. He hasn’t really gone looking for her, and the optimistic part of me almost believes, maybe she told him she wasn’t well. Dogs are so smart and intuitive. If they can tell when their humans are sick or hurting, who says they couldn’t tell each other?

It has been an amazing ten years with this beautiful, loving soul, locked in a big Rottweiler body. We weren’t ready to let her go, but could we ever have been? When we went to the vet with her, we were sure she had just re-injured her bad knee, and the worst thing would be another costly surgery. We had noticed she wasn’t eating well and had lost weight, but besides limping, she seemed herself. It is important to say here, she had a great life, and she was always happy. She gave us priceless memories, and unconditional love, and when the doctor said she had inoperable cancer, that was only going to get worse, it was with undying love that we made the worst/best decision of our lives.

It was very much like losing a child, but the decision we made was the only one we could have made, to allow her to go with the dignity she lived with. I think the hardest part was the suddenness of it. She was fine a couple days ago, and gone now. We had a few minutes with her, to pat her and stroke her, and we both cried and held her while she went. I told her to go chase her ball and my husband told her what a good girl she was, and she left us, physically. It is a sad ending, but the memories are not. It hurts like nothing else, but we watched a video of her playing in the snow when she was a puppy, and we both smiled, knowing she is running and playing somewhere, again. She gave us countless hours of pleasure and sheer joy. She touched everyone she met, and she was a great dog. We lived a good life, and as we mourn, we will have to focus on her life, not her death. We would do her a great disservice to not remember the happy times, and live in the sadness.

I know this was long and maybe a little winded, but I wanted those who love her to remember, and those who didn’t, to know her a little. We were truly blessed that she let us be her family for as many years as we did. We would love to have had more, but she went she needed to, not when we did. She left without a lengthy illness or days of pain. She went with dignity, and we were there when she did. We were with her every step of her life, and we completed the circle of life, with the best furry friend anyone could have. We will smile every time we think of her, and every time we hear the name Chloe, every time we see a picture, or video, because she made us smile every day of her life. RIP Chloe, our dear dear girl, you were, and are loved the best way possible, and we miss you every day.