I feel absolutely compelled to write this post today, after a rather long and restless night, thinking about this tragedy. I was, believe it or not, in the drive-thru line at Tim Horton’s last evening, waiting for my large caramel latte, and posting how happy I was to be going home to have some lovely cake flavoured vodka, when scrolling through some facebook status updates, I was horrified to read the headline “Whitney Houston dead at 48”. I have lived through the deaths of many celebrities, as we all have, but besides Princess Diana, and Michael Jackson, I can’t remember ever shedding a tear. Last night, I was overcome, instantly, and for hours afterwards. I spent the wee hours of this morning contemplating exactly why.
Before I get into my reasons for being so devastated by the loss of this pop icon, I have to take a couple of minutes out to crack the knuckles of a few people out there, for having the audacity and the cold-heartedness, to judge this woman, even as her family and fans begin the process of grieving for her. Who has the right to judge another person? I believe I am stunned by the negative comments about her being a drug addict , by choice, because I have never, that I can remember, in my whole life, judged anyone. It is not my place, and I don’t believe it is anyone’s place, nay, anyone’s RIGHT to judge. I agree whole-heartedly that Ms.Houston made the initial choice to take drugs, but after that, as an addictive personality, the choice was no longer hers. The American Heritage Stedman’s Medical Dictionary lists the definition of addiction as “Habitual psychological and physiological dependence on a substance or practice beyond one’s voluntary control” Anyone want to say it with me – “Beyond One’s Voluntary Control”. I think that is as relevant as it gets. I don’t care who you are, or how much you want to argue this point, addiction is an evil illness, that takes away a person’s ability to make rational, life-saving decisions. I think it is sad, tragic, and heartbreaking, that a woman of her faith and calibre, can be reduced to the title of “drug addict”, and nothing more, in some people’s narrow minds.
Off my soap box I jump, for the moment. As I was crying almost uncontrollably last evening, I was also chatting with a very dear, very wise friend, who when I said I couldn’t understand why I was so devastated by this world-wide loss, pointed out to me, that women like Whitney Houston, and Tina Turner probably hit a chord in me that is different from anyone else who hasn’t lived through an abusive situation. Okay, I paraphrased that a little, but I know that was the jist of what he was trying to say. He is entirely correct, in that, at the time I was going through abuse in my own marriage, I was drawing strength and comfort in music, and a lot of it was the beautiful, angelic tunes, this amazing entertainer was belting out, not realizing she was or would be suffering at the hand’s of the man in her life as well. I have no idea the timeline, as to when Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown were married, or when she was living in physical and emotional turmoil, and I really don’t care to research that at the moment, suffice is to say that, yes, I relate to her, as an abuse survivor, differently. The fact that it took another person, albeit a person who knows me pretty well, to point that out to me, astounded me a little. I certainly believe in the validity of the statement, no question.
I truly believe, the world lost a legend, in the music industry, yesterday, one of which there will be no replacement. Whitney Houston had a voice that many female entertainers are, and will be compared to, and fall short of, forever I think. For all accounts and purposes, if you believe in life after death, she is somewhere singing, and at peace today. I hope she finds that peace in death, that she had so much trouble finding in life. To those of us who were fans, her voice will never be silenced, and although, I can’t listen to any of her music just yet, without the waterworks erupting, I will be forever grateful that she shared her talent with the world, that her music helped give me strength during many dark hours, and that it isn’t the drugs, or poor choices that those of us who adored her will remember her for.
Rest in Peace Whitney Houston, go sing with the angels beautiful lady!
Hi, I'm Cindy Samuel and I proofread books.
Part of the problem with society today is the “instant judgement” that people make when a celebrity dies. They gloss over the talent and accomplishments to dig for dirt. I will say – she had her chances to “get clean”. But as you and others have stated eliquently (but yet starkly) – it IS a day-to-day struggle.
There will be ugly reports (and already have been “ugly photos”), but that is part of the dissection that happens with being a celebrity. I choose to remember the music and how it affected me – particularly the rendition of the US National Anthem she performed at the Super Bowl in 1991. She will be missed, and we now know she is at peace and singing her heart out.
Thank you for sharing your response Lou. I am always leery of being too critical in my negatives, but again, it’s not for me to judge. I appreciate your feedback, my friend
It is your blog, my dear, and you are entitled to speak your mind. I found nothing judgemental or negative in you post. Never, ever, be afraid to speak your mind!
Yeah, that’s never really an issue for me! I generally say how I am feeling, but I do adhere to the if you don’t have something nice don’t say anything at all adage…wait..that should have been in there somewhere!!!!