I seriously should have stayed in bed this morning, no word of a lie.  The day started off on a bad note, and just continued to get worse as it progressed.  Okay, let me rephrase that, as my day actually started with a couple of decent phone calls from some of the more important men in my life, but turned ugly pretty darn quickly, and pretty darn explosively!  Let’s just get to it, shall we?

As anyone who reads this on a regular basis, is aware, I do credit card acquisitions, in various grocery store locations.  I work a different store every week, and my boss is not great at letting me know my exact location, sometimes before I need to be heading out the door Monday morning.  That was the case this morning, and after a rather sleepless night, I was in no mood to wait patiently to make it to the top of his list of importance.  I have a very mischievous cat, who has a tendency to get herself in to trouble during the night, and we purchased a device meant to shoot a blast of air at her when she jumps on my dresser.  Epic fail.  It blasts air alright, and kept her out of the bedroom, however, it was so sensitive as to engage every time I lifted my arm through the night, and woke me up, with a start!  So, to say I was tired and a little grumpy is a bit like saying The Grand Canyon is a bit of a hole in the Earth.  And, when the expected text arrived giving me my location, that added to my aggravation, as it is one of the tougher ones.  Positive note, it is right here in my town, so the drive time is only minutes, and we had snowy weather last night.

I managed to force a semi-positive attitude, and headed out to arrive at the store for about 11:30, as I know, from experience that too early and no one is shopping.  I was not at all excited to see that, not only were both owners present, but so was the manager.  To clarify a little, most of the store managers/owners have no issue with me being in their stores, and I have a good relationship with MOST of them.  That is NOT the case in the Morinville store.  They have made it quite clear that they feel I am bothering their customers, and my fear is, always, that they will decide to kick me out, and I have no choice to go if they do.  So, I was glared at, on every corner, from the minute I walked in, and, to make matters even better, no one would give me the time of day, AND the store was very slow and devoid of people to begin with.

I easily average anywhere between five and ten applications per hour, in the majority of the stores I work in, on any given day.  That’s generally my benchmark.  Well, today, after an hour and a half, I was siting with TWO, count with me One, TWO!  I was being shutdown before I even opened my mouth.  I was incredibly frustrated and annoyed, and sent a text to my boss telling him I couldn’t take too much more of the BS today.  Oddly enough, he replied rather quickly.  He asked me where else I would rather go, and suggested Fort Saskatchewan, which is generally a pretty good fit for me, so I said I would go there.  Now, it’s already 1:00 and I didn’t have lunch with me, so I ran through the drive thru at Tim Horton’s, grabbed myself a caramel latte, and a jalapeno asiago mozzarella bagel.  I told the girl at the window that I was in a bad mood but wanted to make someone else smile, so I paid for coffee for the stranger in the car behind me.  I do that sometimes, because I feel good making other people feel good, and I hoped it would change my fortune if I changed my attitude.  Wrong!

I drove to the store, which is about half an hour away, and of course, realized I was low on gas.  I growled a bit about that, but got very ugly when I saw that, out of the blue, when I went to clean my windshield, one of my wipers (passenger side, thank …..) just wasn’t working!!  Seriously?  No warning, no ice, no nothing, just dead.  I decided to give it a thump when I got to the gas station.  Of course, as I am standing pumping gas, I realize I REALLY have to pee!!  The tank wasn’t full at $40, but I had to stop!  I took the time to quickly give the wiper a smack, but to no avail.  It’s done.

Okay, so now I grab my coupons, my stupid heavy tablet, and dash in to the store, heading straight to the back where I know the bathrooms are located.  Let’s see if any of you lovely folks can just guess what is plastered on ALL three bathroom doors….come on, you guys are smart, you can see where this is going.  Out Of Order!  Water is completely shut down in the entire building.  Go figure.  Now, I decided if I just kept moving, I could likely hold out for a little while, so I didn’t panic. I may have cursed a wee bit, but I am sure no one heard me, right?

This is where I thought Karma, from buying the chick’s coffee, was finally shining her glow on me, because people were in far better moods in Fort Saskatchewan, than they were in Morinville.  The numbers starting coming, people were joking with me, and chatting with me, and telling me I was great, thanking me even for giving them the opportunity to do something they had already been considering.  I managed to get seven apps in a little more than an hour, perfect.  I was telling myself, I was doing so well, I’d be all done by four, and on the road home, with tons of time to make dinner (it’s black beans, rice and hamburger concoction that smells amazing by the way).  I thought that I was thirsty and would grab a quick drink, find a bathroom at a neighbouring store, then jump back in while the iron was hot!  That was what I THOUGHT was going to happen….

I took a quick run down to the aisle with the drinks, and saw that pomegranate flavoured seltzer water was on sale for 77 cents, for a litre…great deal!  I grabbed a bottle, headed to the cash, paid, asked about the bathrooms, and was told they might soon be done with them.  Things were definitely looking up, and as it was very toasty warm in the entryway of the store, where there was a bench, I decided to have a seat there, rather than in my car, so I could get right back at it.  I settled myself on the bench, tablet beside me, phone out to check facebook, and opened my carbonated, fizzy water…..and promptly took a head to toe shower in the stuff, when it exploded out the top!  Cold, wet, sticky, and I was DONE!  I could not believe it!  I had absolutely no choice, as I couldn’t even go to the bathroom for paper towel, or the air dryer, but to turn tail and go the hell HOME, where it appears, I was meant to stay today!  I don’t care that I now have 6 extra applications to make up over the course of this week.  I was DONE!

So, I drove my cold, wet, sticky ass home, took a shower, made supper, settled myself in front of this screen and poured my frustrations out on all you wonderful people.  I am not sure about any of you, but I feel better.  I hope that you were at least able to get a giggle or two out of my ranting, because I am sure I will find it funny…..later, MUCH MUCH later!